Sid:  Hello, Sid Roth here, welcome to my world

where it is naturally supernatural.

My guest Kathi Oates told me that studies reveal

87 percent of illnesses, of sicknesses, are caused

by stored toxic emotions.

And if you could have x-ray vision and look at

someone’s heart you would see cracks in their heart

and in some instances you would actually see a portion

of their heart broken off to protect themselves

and then they are an incomplete person.

My guest was such a person, Kathi, you were

conceived out of wedlock, I mean you started out

on shaky ground and you were abused as a child.

Kathi:  Right, verbally and physically.

Sid:  Tell me about Fat Kathi.

Kathi:  Well early on our family was very angry, very

angry, my mother was abused, she was physically abused,

emotionally abused, and by the time I entered school I was

bigger than all the other kids, and so I was teased about it,

I was not accepted, and when I got to school the only

comfort that I found was through eating, and so I got

bigger and more teasing, and it created a whole cycle

in those early years that was very destructive.

Sid:  And then, this, you must have had a lot of

emotional pain as a result of this.

Kathi:  I had an awful lot of emotional pain

and there was no place to put the pain.

I wasn’t safe at home to process pain, I wasn’t safe at

home to be angry and let the anger out, I really felt I

wasn’t safe at school, the only redeeming quality was

I had a good inlet, and so I focused on my studies,

I focused on that, but at the same time I would eat to

cover up the pain, just anything to cover up the pain.

Sid:  Okay, so you finally decided maybe there is

something more to life than the aesthesia of eating,

and you then become “Skinny Kathi.”

Kathi:  Right, I became very thin, ultra thin and all

borderline anorexic, wound up in the hospital

with a kidney infection, was very thin and very popular,

it’s like all my dreams came true.

I was dating the captain of the football team, I was the

cheerleader, it was like Cinderella and those were my last

couple of years of high school, but inside I was a hurting

puppy, very hurting and very seeking, I was seeking a lot,

none of my family knew the Lord, none of them had ever

come into a personal relationship with the Lord,

and nobody in my town that I knew of.

Sid: Okay, so you become a believer, you marry Gary;

you are 28 years a pastor’s wife, but you finely have

reached your point where you don’t want to be an actress

anymore and say, “Everything’s fine, I’m blessed.”

Kathi:  Right, from the outside we looked like the perfect

pastor’s family, I want to really make that clear, because

people can look good from the outside but the Lord knows

what’s happening on the inside, the Lord knows all the

anger, all the fear, all the torment that is going on, and that

is what was happening with me, and by the time I had

stuffed 28 more years of anger and frustration and fear and

self-hatred on top of what I had already brought into the

marriage, there was a lot of arguing, a lot of fighting

amongst us, and I decided if Gary would just get better,

give me more affection, be a better husband, or we had a

bigger church, or because we had pioneered churches for

28 years, I was looking to all the outward things,

if I just had this it would make me happy.

Sid:  Just like you were looking for other

food as Fat Kathi.

Kathi:  It was looking, I had stayed thin, I fought to stay

thin, and it was to my physical determent really.

And then all of a sudden God began to work on me, and I

began to see it was really about the inside out, it was really

about what was really going on and I had to face the truth

about what was on the inside of me, and it wasn’t about

my good deeds, it wasn’t about being a good pastor’s wife,

it was about the jealousy, the anger, the strife,

the bitterness on the inside, the anger was horrific.

Sid:  What was the first key that you got to get free?

Kathi:  the first key was that God began to speak truth in

my innermost parts, I began to get quiet enough,

I think we live in such a rat race of a world we’re not

quiet enough to tune in to what’s happening on the

inside of us or the things that we believe, and so

the Lord began to bring truth to the light.

Well then I began to notice, there’s a war going on

on the inside of me, there is one person that feels

one way and one person that is very angry and

when the pain would get stepped on on the inside

this angry person would come out, this bitter person

would come out and I didn’t like her at all.

And Gary didn’t like her at all and it was very difficult.

I remember Gary saying to me one time,

“If you would just think more positively.”

And I said to him, “You know Gary, you don’t understand

this, you don’t understand what it is like to have two

people on the inside warring against each other.”

And it was those words out of my mouth I began to

see a Christian can have a broken heart, they can be split,

so to speak, and one part holding all the pain,

all the trauma, and another part trying to be

“Sally Good Christian,” all the time.

And it was, I came to him and I said,

 “Gary, I don’t care what you are going to do,

I don’t care if we have the biggest church,

I don’t care if my house is perfect, I don’t care if my

kids are perfect, I am going to get the help I need.

And that’s when I began to really seek the Lord about

that and a man came along, that had a ministry of healing

and talking to us about walls and parts.

And during that period of ministry I got real quiet and

because I am a visual person, the Lord showed me visually

what was happening on the inside, and I began to see that I

had a big wall on the inside, and the man said,

“Well ask the Lord what’s the name of the wall?”

Sid:  I’ll tell you what, hold that thought because Kathi not

only finds out about this wall and has her heart restored,

but she had been equipped to supernaturally restore your

heart, don’t go away we’ll be right back after this word.

Sid:  Hello Sid Roth here with Kathi Oates, 28 years a

pastors wife, plastic smile, everything is fine, but her heart

was broken, and she just didn’t know what to do about it

and so she went for help, she said I don’t know about you

Gary, but I am going for help, I cannot take it the way this

is, and someone was praying for you and you saw a wall.

Kathi:  I saw a wall, I did and I asked the Lord what’s the

name of the wall because sometimes we don’t know things

about ourselves and God knows all truth about us.

So I heard the word fear, and I asked the Lord,

“Lord just come and minister to that wall.”

And it’s like in my minds eye I saw a big ball and chain

come and smash that wall, and then I saw behind the wall

a little part of who I was, in fact it was a big part of

who I was, and I asked the Lord, “Who is that.”

And I heard, “Fat Kathi.”

That was the part of me that I had despised.

That was the part of me that I had rejected.

That was the part of me that held all the pain.

And as I saw that part I said, “Lord, she looks so sad.”

And I saw that little fat girl crying and the man

that was praying with me said,

“Are you willing to embrace that part of you?”

And I said, “Absolutely not, I hate that part of me.”

And there are many, many who feel the same way

about parts of themselves that hold shame and trauma a

nd fear and torment, they don’t want to have anything

to do with them, and he said, “Well are you willing f

or the Lord Jesus to come and minister to that part?”

And I said, “Yes I am.”

And so in my minds eye I felt and saw the Lord

come and put his arm around that part that I had hated

and despised for so many years, and he said,

“What’s happening to her now?”

And I said, “Well she is looking happier.”

And you know as I sat there and I kind of watched

this video going on on the inside of me, I began to

realize she is part of who I am, and when I left her

behind I left a lot of who I was.

Sid: You rejected part of yourself.

Kathi:  I rejected part of myself, look she was so rejected,

she wasn’t loved at home, her dad didn’t pay any attention

to her, there was screaming and yelling all the time,

at school the kids made fun of her, and I just decided

since nobody else liked her why should I

and I pushed all the pain and shoved all the

pain in that part of my heart and it broke.

And as I got older I got ADD, I couldn’t focus

on anything and my grades went down.

I can tell you almost to the day when that happened

because from then on, I got a transcript of my

high school grades, they went down to mediocre

and I had been at the top of my class.

And so the Lord gave me a compassion for that part of me,

I could feel the Lord’s heart loving here and if the Lord

loved her I looked at her and I thought I want her to

come back, I need to be whole again.

And that is what salvation means, it means to be made

whole, to be saved, to be set free, to be delivered.

Sid:  You know you were talking about in Isaiah, part of

the reason Messiah came was to restore the brokenhearted.

Kathi:  It was to bind up the brokenhearted, to set the

captives free, to open the prison doors, in fact in

Luke four that was Jesus’ mission statement.

The church has not held that mission statement.

Sid:   Okay, let’s take you what happened to your ADD?

Kathi:  The ADD began to subside

as I asked that part back.

Sid:  In fact you told me your entire personality changed.

What were you like before and how did you change?

Kathi:  I was very angry, much more nervous,

much more excitable, much more fearful, very fearful,

worried a lot, anxiety ridden, but I think the most

prevalent thing was this underlying seething

anger all the time, I just could not get rid of it.

And as I began to release the trauma out of that part,

I began to release the anger, I began to release the pain

and that part reunited with me and it was an actual

experience for me, it was as if two puzzle pieces

were being slammed together and there was a

solidarity about how I felt about myself.

Sid:  I have heard of people who have done this that

couldn’t even play a piano and all of a sudden they can

play the piano when their heart comes together.

It is like part of who you – you are incomplete.

Kathi:  right, you are incomplete and I, after working in

this ministry for quite a number of years now, I don’t see

how we can come in to the complete destiny that the Lord

has for us, because our destiny includes all of who we are,

all of the way the Lord made us.

I just prayed for a woman recently in a meeting and I

could tell that she had left an artsy part, where she loved

art, did painting, loved music, that part had been totally

rejected by her for some reason or another, and I could see

the Lord beginning to bring that back to her again.

It is amazing how much of who we are we loose.

Sid:  Now you do group meetings all over the world

where you pray and that’s why I love your new book,

Open My Heart, Lord, because in the back it has a

CD with you praying with such an anointing of God,

and in fact when we come back in the next segment

I want you to pray over our people.

But you know I have to tell you Kathi, it seems

too simple the way you outline it in this book.

Kathi:  Well I think the Lord is simple, and as long as we

follow his simple principles, I’ve found some people that

are broken more than just one fragment, I have found

people that are broken many fragments and shattered lives,

but that’s what the word broken means in the Hebrew, in

Isaiah 61 it means to be broken, splintered, shattered.

Sid:  Okay, no more broken, splintered, shattered,

we’ll be right back after this word and

Kathi is going to pray for you.

Sid:  Hello, Sid Roth here with Kathi Oates, and we are

finding out that there are people with broken hearts,

in fact most of us have broken hearts because we are

 in a broken world with broken people, with a devil

floating around trying to steal, kill and destroy.

What do you expect?

But God wants to bring the broken pieces back together

and that’s what he has done with Kathi Oates.

And Kathi, you told me that you have these seminars all

over the world, in fact I went to one of yours, and I’m

amazed at what, tell me one seminar you went to, what

you prayed for and one person whose life was changed.

Kathi:  I could do so many, but the one that stands out the

most recent one which is a good thing to do, recent ones,

is when we were praying and asking the Lord to bring and

release, bring up the trauma and release it, and bring up the

anger and release it, and as we were doing this and the

Lord was beginning to take the anger out of the people,

beginning to take the trauma, sometimes you will hear a

lot of emotional reactions, sometimes it will be a very

quiet thing, however God chooses to do it, and in this

particular case it was very quiet, and apparently this

woman was in the auditorium and she had been on Prozac

for 15 years, she had tired to go off of it several times

and could not get free from it, in one instant,

I mean one instant, God lifted all the depression, anger,

all the trauma off of her spirit and I saw her three months

after that and she had been totally free from the

Prozac for three months and feeling great.

She said that it totally changed her life.

I get stories like this all the time.

Sid:  You know Kathi you know it is not just people

our age, older people, the meeting I went to with you

and your husband there were just teenagers there.

Kathi:  There were teenagers there, there were absolutely

teenagers there and in fact, let me tell you a story of a

teenager I prayed with in Sweden, I mean in Switzerland,

they brought this girl to me, she had been raped two days

earlier and she was devastated, she was shaking,

she could hardly function, and as we prayed and began

to release the trauma, this trauma was so fresh she

absolutely screamed it out and released all that energy,

all that fear, all that torment, that was –

Sid:  Or as we said earlier, 87 percent of diseases

are actually, their causes are these stored toxic emotions,

it is good to get rid of them.

Kathi:  Right, and a lot of women have had rape and incest

and molestation and have never been able to release it, it

has been secret, it has been hidden, it has been in a box on

the inside of them and it spreads itself, I don’t want to go

into all the physical ramifications of that right now, but for

this young girl she released all that two days after the rape,

and I am telling you she went out of that place with the

peace of God and the radiance of God on her.

Sid:  There are people watching us right now and say,

I want my part to come together, I want to get rid

of these toxic emotions, could you pray a quick

prayer for them right now.

Kathi:  I would love to.

Right now many of you out there are identifying

with the words that I am saying, many of you have

had secret abuses brought against you that you are afraid

to tell anybody about, many of you know what it is like,

you identify with my testimony you know what it is like

to be broken and to be physically and verbally abused

and you understood everything that I said as if my testimony is your testimony, let me come to you today

and lets ask the Lord right now in this very place,

right wherever you are standing, right whatever

you are doing, stop what you are doing.

Listen, the Lord wants to bring release to that trauma,

let’s just ask the Lord to do that right now.

Holy Spirit we just ask that you come and there are many

people that are out there Father that you care and you love

and your heart is for right now, that you are very present

with them right in this very moment, and Lord we ask that

you would begin to pull now all the trauma and pain out of

their hearts Lord, release the anger, the frustration,

the terror that they have stuffed for so many years,

break it off of them Lord, lift it out, in an instant God

do a miracle right now, and Lord if any of them feel that

there is a little part of the inside of them, a little girl,

a little boy that they are familiar with that they know

has been down there, in there for years and years and that

they have pushed away, have not cared for, have not loved,

Lord you begin to minister tot hat little part,

you begin to make yourself known to that little part,

you begin to put your arms around it Lord,

just come in and minister to it in Jesus Name.

And for many of you right now, you may be even seeing

good parts, innocent parts that you have left behind

because you came into a time of trauma and horror, and

these little innocent parts need to be restored to you, just

take time now before the Lord, just take a moment, just

kind of check yourself and say to this part, I am so sorry I

left you back there to hold all that pain, all that trauma, all

that shame, all that fear, all that anger, if you come back

and be a part of me again I promise with the Lords help to

take care of you, to set good boundaries for you, you are

important, I love you, you are a part of who I am.

Now many of you may just want to begin to embrace that

part, begin to put your arms around it in the spirit realm

so to speak, and draw that part into yourself.

Some of you if the Lord is there beside you and you sense

his presence and it seems like a difficult thing, you’re a

little bit afraid, why don’t you just say to the Lord, “Lord

would you just help me right now, would you just help me

become whole again like I need to be, like I want to be.”

Now Lord we just ask that you begin to envelope all these

little parts that you care for, that you died for, that you

took all their pain with you on the cross, just pull them into

that person, just let them feel the sense of wholeness and

fullness and let them know you in the deep, deep, deep

dark places that nobody sees, nobody sees but you Lord.

Let them know that you are even in those deep dark places

and bring health and wholeness and healing Lord.

In fact right now I ask Father that you would release a

healing anointing that would go with them even in their

sleep, even in their daydreams, even when they are driving

the car Lord, that you would meet them in the healing

process even in those times, and this would be the

beginning of stepping into your healing process Lord God,

the knowledge that Jesus Christ is the one who paid for all

of this, Buddha didn’t do it, Mohammad didn’t do it,

no leader of any major religion went to the cross so that

you could be free from your pain, Jesus is the only one that

did that, he is toe only one that took our pain, he is the

only one that took our sorrow, he is the only one.

Let him be that only one now.

Lord release your presence and the knowledge of you in

these deep dark places to bring healing and light and truth.

In Jesus Name.

Sid:  You know Kathi, the peace that was on that

prayer that you just prayed, many of you are experiencing

that peace right now, and some of you it is the first

time you have ever felt that kind of peace,

how would you like to walk in that presence 24/7?

That’s what we are talking about, it is not religion,

it is not tradition, it is intimacy with God through

the Jewish Messiah Yeshua Jesus.

Tell God you are sorry for the mistakes you have made,

ask him to wash them away because of Jesus’ death and

resurrection and then ask Jesus to come inside of you and

become your Lord, get happy, see him putting his arms

around you and loving you right now, right now.

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